Gurlhood

“A woman must have something beyond beauty. A bit of sorrow. A bit that cries. A bit that feels longing. The rhythm of a broken heart. A beauty that comes from the sorrow of being a woman.”

Coisa Mais Linda — Welcome to Rio; ep 1.

March was International Women’s Month and while there was an air of celebration buzzing around social media, I was not quite in the spirit. I wondered if I was feeling angry or indignant or cynical but in the end, I was just jaded. Being a woman… a black woman… a black woman in South Africa… I don’t have to tell you of the everyday injustices we suffer in the fight to be seen, protected or to be kept alive. Let alone to be praised, celebrated or to feel deserved. You’ve heard it all already. And perhaps, yes, this is coming from a place of cynicism or exhaustion, but how can it not? Film director and activist, Agnès Varda, laments in her autobiographical documentary, The Beaches of Agnès, “I tried to be a joyful feminist, but I was actually very angry.”

In the tug-of-war of trying not to harbour so much resentment and not suppressing my feelings so as not to be an “angry feminist”, I was left without a resolution. But without even looking, some sources of encouragement found their way to me, as they often do. My girlfriends, for example, were one such encouragement. They were there for me after I got dumped via phone call the-day-before Valentine’s Day and they patiently endured my reeling from that situation for weeks thereafter. Or Ariana Grande’s new album, eternal sunshine, which served as a sweet soundtrack in the midst of the bitterness. The biggest, most unexpected of these gems, however, was a show I dug up on Netflix, Coisa Mais Linda (or Girls from Ipanema), from which the opening quote is from.

Against the backdrop of Rio de Janeiro circa 1959, Malú has just learned that her husband has disappeared, along with all of her money. She then decides to open a Bossa Nova nightclub with her own band of friends, breaking several stigmas and stereotypes of being a woman in the late fifties. Over the course of eight episodes in the first season, the four women each learn to stand up for themselves against manipulative and abusive men, to walk away from oppressive situations that do not serve them, and to take ownership of their lives. I was quite pleased by the visually appealing cinematography and enjoyed the charming sounds of Brazilian Bossa Nova, but what surprised me the most was the masterful tackling of topics like motherhood, womanhood and sisterhood.

These women, Malú and friends, lean into their anger and the sorrows of being women, they transform this into resistance and power and they recognise that in making their own choices, they become stronger and braver. And just as International Women’s Month was coming to a close and I was riding the wave of this new found feminist spirit, Beyoncé dropped her album, Cowboy Carter. Yee… and I cannot stress this enough, haw! While the album has been widely praised for its genre defiance and barrier breaking in the Black country music space, what touched me were its themes of motherhood and womanhood. Amongst so many other emotions, it made me feel grateful for my mom, who is quite literally the strongest woman I know (Protector). I already mentioned how my girlfriends are everything to me and how I would do anything for them (Bodyguard). And it affirmed that cussing out the stupid man that dumped me was definitely the right thing to do (Tyrant).

Beyoncé’s album cleared the air for me, it cleansed my energy and made me feel like a new, empowered woman. I’m no damsel in distress — Thank you, Beyoncé — I can do anything. And that’s the thing; no matter how angry or resentful or jaded we get, may we always remember that there is so much power and inspiration around us encouraging us to channel our inner spirit. A spirit that both fights and rejoices because there are joys of being a woman. Feel the sun. Catch the wind. Keep being fierce. One day you might look back and say: “It was good to have gone through these difficulties. I grew and matured.”

Love always,

Zenith

Zenith Kwinana is a Stellenbosch University graduate, a writer, model and the founder of Gurlhood. She's a hopeless romantic, battles a tea addiction and though a terrible driver, loves a good road trip.