Gurlhood

By Jodi Barbier

1. Your internal battles will emerge in your life in different forms time & time again if you continue to ignore them. Listen to yourself. Listen to your body. Sit with yourself. Let yourself feel. Speak to yourself with love.
2. As far as you can, don’t adjust yourself to suit things. Adjust things to suit you. Work smart. Always.
3. People are people before they are anything else. The role they play in other people’s lives come secondary to them just being a person. View them as such. Treat them with grace, kindness & understanding (as much as you can), but maintain firm boundaries in order to look after yourself.
4. Every person, every place, every interaction, every situation is a teacher. There is nothing and nobody you can’t learn from.
5. Life happens to people, regardless of how “good” or “bad” they are. Life knocks everyone down in different ways. Be a good person anyway. Try, at least. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
6. Every time you leave your house, try to connect with people. It doesn’t have to be in big ways. It could just be eye contact & a smile. It could be complimenting a stranger. It could be asking the cashier at the shop how their day has been and genuinely caring about their answer. Our joy is in our connection.
7. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else, I don’t see the need to shame people for much of anything at all, really.
8. Let people reveal themselves to you. You don’t have to anticipate anything. Sit back and let things unfold. Decide from there.
9. Sometimes things just require time. Unfortunately, time cannot be rushed so we have to learn to relinquish control.
10. Get to know yourself. Deeply. Regularly. Rinse & repeat. This helps us create a life that is in alignment with who we are internally and allows us to forge more meaningful connections.
11. As much as laughter is medicine, so are the arts. Create. Experience. Feel something. Let it move you.
12. Trusting your gut can be difficult sometimes, especially if you struggle with anxiety or anything else in that realm. However, learning to listen to your intuition is a massive gift you can give yourself. Personally, if I’m unsure about whether something is a gut feeling or my anxiety talking, I try to make time to sit with that feeling. I speak to myself (usually in my head, but out loud can work too). If I feel shaky or on edge or any feeling similar, most of the time I conclude that that then must be my anxiety talking. When my intuition talks, it’s matter of fact. There is an air of acceptance & peace that helps me recognize when it’s my gut feeling looking out for me.
13. I don’t need to speak to you about the temporariness of life & this human experience, but I will suggest that you take pictures of everything. What you do with them is up to you.
14. A lot of things that were considered “taboo” when I was growing up are actually deeply necessary conversations just begging to happen. Sex is one of those things.
15. Everyone’s not gonna like me. I sure as hell don’t like everyone. That’s completely fine. I’ll do my thing and let them do theirs.
16. As clichéd as this piece of advice is, drinking water, eating substantially & getting good sleep are game changers. Look after your body so your body can look after you.
17. Love is abundant. Life is so full of this ever-present love that’s just waiting for you to bask in it. Platonic love, familial love, romantic love, self love, the list is endless — it’s never too late and you’re never too old to centre your life around love.
18. Grown adult people can be bullies too.
19. Writing (ideally, applying pen to paper but digitally is alright as well) is a life hack that should be practiced more often, in my opinion. If you need to remember something, write it down. If you want to track progress of any kind, writing can help you document it. If you feel overwhelmed & your mind feels crowded, write. Write letters to yourself, write letters to your loved ones. Just write.
20. Having a scarcity mindset breeds comparison & dissatisfaction. We can all win.
21. You might as well do the thing you wanna do because we’re all gonna die anyway and very few things actually matter. Remember, closed mouths don’t get fed.
22. I don’t do this myself (working on it) but wearing sunblock daily is something your future self will thank you for.
23. When it comes to confidence, faking it till you make it seems to work every time. Carry yourself like you are who you want to be. When I was struggling with my confidence when I was younger, I spent hours in front of the mirror practicing speaking kindly to myself as opposed to just picking at (what I perceived as) my flaws. Focus on the things you like about yourself and highlight them. Give the “I hate my body” “I hate how I look” “I’m so ugly” narrative less airtime. Please.

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Jodi is studying a Bachelor of Social Science at UCT, majoring in Gender Studies and Sociology. She loves trying out good food, travelling (when she's able to) and astrology. She is learning to put herself first and honour her boundaries.