Gurlhood

By Zenith Kwinana

The reality for women living in South Africa is that 40 per cent will be raped in their lifetime. But when you think about how many women in your class or even friendship circle have been made to feel uncomfortable by a man, or how many have been looked at, spoken to or touched in an inappropriate way, or how many have been coerced, guilt-tripped or manipulated into doing something they did not want to do, that statistic increases dramatically. Rape has become commonplace in South Africa and fear is a constant companion. That is the sad reality of a South African woman.

Then we have to look at the inextricable link between sexual assault and mental health. When someone violates your space and strips you of your autonomy, that not only impacts your physical body, but it alters your brain chemistry too. It warps the perception you have of yourself and of others. It clouds your judgement, you lose the confidence you once had in yourself and the ability to trust your instincts. The psychological trauma is deep and often irreversible. What once was a blissful innocence becomes anger at those who treated you poorly. There is grief and isolation and loneliness: all things that no person deserves to live through. 

Now I don’t mean for this first blog post to be so heavy. In fact, I imagined the first Gurlhood post to be something fun and inspirational in celebration of finally launching a project that means so much to me. But when I sat down to write this post, I could not ignore the urgency of this topic. This is something that affects the lives of so many women in South Africa, whether it is a personal experience or comes from hearing the everyday gruesome stories about another woman or child that has been raped or killed. The point of this blog post, however, is to highlight the importance of sharing such stories and speaking out against injustice. I, for one, know how life-changing it can be for even one person to hear your story, for them to sit with you in your grief and to validate your experience. 

And so, with all the heartache and devastation a 20-something-year-old can go through, I exist today as the confident, well-rounded woman I am not because of any abuser I have encountered in my life, but in spite of them. I have blossomed and thrived into an outstanding woman because of my own strength and courage. It is because of the love and support I have received from my community that I have a voice again and the power to do great things in my life. It is in that same vein that Gurlhood exists. Not because of those who have hurt or violated me, but because of those who have healed and protected me. For that, I thank you. 

We all have a story. Stories of overcoming and becoming that have meticulously carved us into who we are today. Gurlhood aims to highlight and share these stories so that others may draw renewed life force and inspiration from them. So that we may flourish in the garden of our beautiful lives not because of the rain, but in spite of it.

Love, 

Zenith

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Zenith is a Stellenbosch University student, model and the founder of Gurlhood. She is a hopeless romantic, loves solo travelling and currently battles a tea addiction.